When maids are emotional anchors...

NEW DELHI: Friend, philosopher and guide — that’s what the domestic help of nuclear families has become. When Mini was going through the worst phase of her marital life, she had only one person to share it with — her domestic help, Rita.
"Looking at Rita one can hardly believe this illiterate tribal woman from Orissa can provide any emotional support.But she’s done just that," says Mini. Rita was witness to constant fights between the couple and always supported Mini whenever things went out of control. And she was there when Mini’s husband walked out on her, leaving her two sons to look after.
"I was in a state of shock when my husband walked out of the marriage. But it was Rita who stood by me, took charge of the house and made me realise that life has to go on. Even my parents always ridiculed me for the break-up," adds Mini. Seven months later, Mini is leading a normal life. "Rita is taking care of the house so well that I never have to worry about anything. I can concentrate on my career while she looks after my sons with full dedication."
Domestic help have gained in status in modern urban households. From participating in family affairs to providing emotional support to women and children of the house, they have become our best sounding boards.
"We leave behind our families in villages and become part of the new set-up. If we get love and respect, we also reciprocate," says Devki who has been serving a lecturer-journalist couple for the last four years. She’s from Orissa and is like a second mother to the couple’s four-year-old son. Devki listens to his problems and tries to sort it out, sometimes without even letting his parents know about them.
For some couples, life grinds to a halt if the help is not there. Rana Behl, a DU lecturer, had a tough time handling his children when his maid went back to her native place in Assam after serving the family for 15 years. "My children were very close to her. She knew more about their needs than us," he says.
With more and more couples spending long hours at work and reaching home late, maids take charge of the household. With hardly any socialising left for working women, domestic help turn out to be the best listeners. "My maid always intervenes and tries to pacify me and my husband whenever we get into heated arguments. She even tells us bluntly who is wrong. As she is an impartial observer, her criticism help us realise our shortcomings and we work on improving our relationship," says Mohini, a doctor.
Leena, an engineering student, even discusses her boyfriends with her domestic help, Shoma. "I even dumped a couple of guys as she told me that they were not suitable for me," says Leena.